Worn Out Tools and a Worn Legacy

I was looking through notes of the ALMas group just because I could.

My heart sank.  The cohesion and structure and plans of the group originally has fallen apart.  Exactly what I feared happened--I started something that was supposed to give back in a structured, research driven way but ultimately ended up imploding and breaking.

As you get older, you wonder the legacy you leave behind.  And I'm starting to see that my legacy so far has been dismantled--at least the one part I was most proud of.  I don't know.  You fail and fail until you succeed.  And I tried really hard with ALMas, and I know the volunteers did, too.

I can't help but think of Rudyard Kipling's poem, IF:

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken 
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: 
...

If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Watch the things you gave your life to, broken...yeah.  I guess so.

But I'm not dead yet.

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